After a series of broken relationships and friendships, one of my biggest demons has been that there is something wrong with me, with who I am, who I have chosen and striven to be. Especially in the light of the fact that a running theme in these 'breakups', seems to be that the thing or things that the person loved most about me, has become the thing that has driven the final nail in the coffin of our shared histories.
It has taken some tears, some anxiety attacks, some days long bouts of depression to take into consideration the loud and plentiful voices of those of you who have stuck with me. The insistence that I am perfect just the way I am, have become an amazing individual, and that the only changing I should do is the changing I want to do to better myself, and the rest of the world be damned.
And truth be told, the admiration of my current web of friends usually
outweighs the clamour of the hindsight of the hurt of those who were
meant to be my nearest and dearest. Unless I'm unconscious, and then no
amount of loving support from friends and family can over rule the
demons as they mount my Nightmares.
That's when my anxiety is worst; between dreams, between waking and enough caffeine to face the demons full on, between blinks in the darkness behind my eyelids.
And as Robin has reminded us all, it only takes one dark moment to end a bright and shining life.
Thank you to those of you who shine lights into the dark crevasses of my struggles with Mental Health.
That's when my anxiety is worst; between dreams, between waking and enough caffeine to face the demons full on, between blinks in the darkness behind my eyelids.
And as Robin has reminded us all, it only takes one dark moment to end a bright and shining life.
Thank you to those of you who shine lights into the dark crevasses of my struggles with Mental Health.
No comments:
Post a Comment