Giving Thanks

I've been asked a lot this week what my plans are for Thanksgiving. As it happens, I have been having a bad spell with Fibro, and so had sort of forgot that it WAS thanksgiving. However, this year, the plan was to just lay low anyway. My roommate's family (with whom I am very close) isn't really big on Thanksgiving, and besides, his mom's in Turkey right now (That's right! You heard me!) and he and his brother world opposite shifts at the same company. I do have family & friends within driving distance, but it just didn't seem like it was worth the fuss, especially with my health currently in a down swing.

Now, this middling reaction is not to be mistaken for apathy, or sulking. If this had been Christmas or my birthday, you can bet your ass I'd have chugged a case of Red Bull and soldiered on, Fibro be damned!

Having grown up on a hobby farm with what I can now call Pagan influences, I have always taken time to be thankful for that which the land and the livestock provide for my plate and my survival. Having, in recent years, been forced to completely reevaluate my life and even to face my own mortality, finding things to be thankful for has not been a struggle. I take time out of each day to think about the blessings in my life in all of the many shapes they come in.

So while I do not at all begrudge those who are celebrating this Holiday, it is not an ideal which I require a calendar to mark.

Having said that, Thanksgiving this year marks something else for me. It was this time a year ago that saw me hit a major low period mentally and emotionally. I had become so wrapped up in my pain that anger and frustration were the only emotions I seemed to be able to exhibit. It was killing me, and it was torture to the roommates who had been so kind and understanding up until this point. It was at this point that it became clear that I was creating a hostile living environment. We all understood that the illness was the culprit, but there was only so much to be done from where I was.

And so the decision was made for me to move in with a different friend in a different city, and leave my cozy little family unit that I had built around me, before none of us were any longer on speaking terms. As it turns out, it still may have been too late for some of those friendships.

However, I can proudly state that today, one year later, I am a markedly different person. How I deal with anger and frustration have vastly changed. I have a better handle on my day to day pain, as well as my day to day stressors. I have learned that, as much as I am a pack creature, I simply cannot live with 5 people under one roof anymore, at least, not for longer than a week long visit.

I have learned SO much about myself, and my illness in the past year. I have helped so many people by sharing my experiences and my discoveries, either via anecdotes, this blog, or the Fibro group that I began on Facebook.

I have learned to pace myself (finally!), and reward myself, and not beat up on myself! Hey, my body does that enough for both of us ;)

I've taken up writing again with a renewed vigor, throwing myself into (almost) daily writing exercises, as well as making posts to all three of my favourite Facebook groups, and engaging in witty banter with the folks on-line.

I'm discovering that one of my strengths is succinct world-building and in depth character descriptions within the first few pages of a story. My biggest weakness would definitely have to be run on sentences. *blushes impishly* My vocabulary is well rounded, but some stern adherement to proper use of punctuation may be in order.

I'm even going to participate in NaNoWriMo again this year! I'm planning on working on book two of the book series I began work on last year. A pet project that had it's inception over 10 years ago! I have decided to challenge myself with a personal goal of 80,000 words (compared to the planned 50,000 of the campaign). That pans out to 4,000 words per day over 20 writing day out of 30. (I know myself well enough to know that I will likely will be incapable of writing, 1 day in 3.)

So that's where I'm standing this Thanksgiving. These are just a few of the progresses and triumphs I have to be thankful for. Just think! I haven't even touched on the Who's ;)

Thanks for your readership, and ongoing support. <3